Strange Facts about Constantine and Movies

I have a very strange memory. I can’t remember most of my life (high school is only a collection fragmented memories), but I have a near eidetic memory when it comes to movies and novels. I think this probably has something to do with the fact that I spend 75% of my time in an alternate reality.

A recent conversation with my boyfriend about STARGATE (1994) made me ponder this:

Me – “I remember seeing the original movie when it came out and being disappointed. I thought they had a really great idea but the movie wasn’t as good as it could have been.”

Him – “The original movie…you mean from 1994?”

Me – “Yes.”

Him – “You would have been 7 or 8.”

Me – “Yes, I have been intellectually pretentious ever since I was born.”

Here are a few more fun facts about me:

– After seeing JURASSIC PARK (1993) in the movie theater, my best friend Lee and I liked to pretend to be velociraptors.

– The first time I ever saw boobs in a movie was also in 1994, when my parents let me watch INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE (1994) with them.

– My favorite movie when I was about 9 or 10 was THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE UGLY (1966). I remember this quite clearly because I watched it nonstop during the summer my parents got divorced.

– My parents were notoriously bad at censoring my reading choices. When I was in fifth and sixth grade (11 or 12 years old), I read most of Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles. When I was in junior high, I discovered a few other Anne Rice books – Belinda (an erotic Lolita-esque story) and The Sleeping Beauty Trilogy (the fairy tale retold with a sado-masochistic bent).

– Shortly thereafter I remember reading a Tanith Lee short story about a woman with teeth in her vagina. I found this intriguing. I also attempted to read Don Quixote in sixth grade but found it too silly (irony!).

– When I was around 12 or 13 I started visiting my aunt Val Breiman in LA every summer, to which I can attribute most of my early education about film. Some of the first movies we watched together were DELIVERANCE (1972) and JAWS (1975).

– I clearly remember the first time I was ever alone with Adam Rifkin. We watched the Werner Herzog film EVEN DWARFS STARTED SMALL (1970). In this movie, the dwarfs kill a large pig, set fire to flowers, break dishes and windows, and crucify a monkey.

Now tell me some weird film-facts about you, readers!

Comments (10)

  1. john

    You were a model child. (The “Let The Right One In” kind).
    I started off life as a swamp baby with my Seminole grandma and her pet ‘gater “Snappy” (my name for him). I spent many an idyllic day running from both of them.

    As a young monster my sister and i watched Godzilla with Ray Burr 9 times in one week on TV (it was a Goz-marathon). By the fifth replay we would turn off the sound and do the dialogue ourselves. Not nearly as inventive as you.

    As a teen sadist i played a little bit of football but generally didn’t like sports or movies i couldn’t participate in (which is why i didn’t bother with porn as a child…if i couldn’t play, i didn’t want to watch).

    My synapses flashed like Mogul lights when i discovered pyrotechnics of the noisy kind. i made cannons for the 4th of July. i blew up the high school senior tree and the senior bench (proud of those. Still just close my eyes and smile.) Also, blew up a donated car for some fund-raiser at school. My satisfaction came from the fact no one knew it was my best friend and myself doing these fun things.

    After that, it was the Army and joy became…well, my love of pyrotechnics went away. Recently, the monster smelled something in the wind and his ears went up and he looked around. He heard about pyro-theology and Peter Rollins and some swarthy East Europeans. Intellectual pursuits are so exhausting.

    Love your movie and book choices. Love your Cosplay. Could your minnions CGI exploding Shi-Tsu’s or poodles or sheep?

    February 3, 2012
    • constantineintokyo

      “As a young monster my sister and i watched Godzilla with Ray Burr 9 times in one week on TV (it was a Goz-marathon). By the fifth replay we would turn off the sound and do the dialogue ourselves. Not nearly as inventive as you.”

      That is such an awesome idea, I wish I had thought of it myself!!

      February 19, 2012
  2. big daddy celly cell cello

    Hey I’m 9, To Kill a Mockingbird is platitudinous, and Ferris Buellers Day Off…don’t get me started. As always, when I replace my VHS copies of my movies with DVD’s I check the format to make sure that I am getting true widescreen presentations. Ferris, I’m sad to say, is the worst that I have seen when it comes to the so-called widescreen format!!!! Fingerpaints please!

    February 5, 2012
    • constantineintokyo

      I had a big crush on Cameron and John Hughes is awesome.

      February 19, 2012
  3. Dave Blend

    Hey Constantine, I noticed you used the example of a unicorn humping a dolphin as an example of a particularly outrageous tattoo in an earlier piece. I know that guy, and, well… This might explain a lot?

    February 7, 2012
  4. g2-0026c4bdf0097b9ddaf3f41ffb67d1bb

    some similarities here: I was watching very messed up horror movies as a kid (thanks to a devious aunt), and I started reading Steven King in the 5th grade. I read 7 hours of the Tommyknockers one night and started to think in the third-person-omniscient.

    June 18, 2012
    • constantineintokyo

      Actually, the same thing happened to me after reading The Tommyknockers. Weird

      July 18, 2012
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